Phone Calls With ChadSon
by Cage The Elephant In The Room
Summary: Sonny, pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. Sonny. If you're just sitting there and not picking up the phone I'm going to - "
1. Dial Tone

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with SWAC.

**A/N: So, like, yeah. I haven't written a SWAC story on this account yet so I figured I might as well. I've done it on my other one, so here we go! If you don't know who I am, that's awesome. Pretend as if I don't own two accounts. ;) It'll make finding out what you think a lot cooler. If you do...hey...buddy...why are you checking out this account when you could be reading my multi-chaps? Silly goose! :P**

**Anyways. I love the way Sonny and Chad talk on the phone. So this will be a small (depending on whether you like it or not) series of phone conversations. ;) Hope you enjoy. **

_Sonny. _Chad.

* * *

_"_No_, Chad, going out with a girl just to get the part is_ not _a good idea."_

"Oh, come on, Munroe. You can't _honestly _tell me that you wouldn't do something shady to get the part."

_"Yes, I can. I would **never **do something so...utterly stupid."_

"Hey. Are you calling Chad Dylan Cooper stupid?"

_"So what if I am?"_

"Oh. No. You do not call Chad Dylan Cooper stupid."

_"What else should I call 'him'? Driving Miss Daisy? Because I'd gladly do that. You do drive slower than a turtle after all."_

"Take that back!"

_"Um, I don't think so."_

"Take it back, Sonny!"

_"No, Driving Miss Daisy."_

"It's Chad! Chad DYLAN COOPER!"

_"Okay, seriously. When are you going to cut that out? Do you really have to say Dylan Cooper? Really?"_

"First off, it's my first layer of sexy, if you must know. And secondly, yes, yes I do."

_"...why?"_

"Because! You can't just say 'Chad Cooper'! No. That sounds ridiculous. And gay."

_"..."_

"Sonny?"

_"You do know that my brother goes after the same guys I do, right?"_

"Oh. Right."

_"So, Chad. Are you saying there's something _wrong _with being homosexual?"_

"No?"

_"No? Are you sure?"_

"Is there a right answer to that question? Heh."

_"It's called thinking before you speak, jerk-face. Oh, wait. How could I expect you of all people to do that. You're 'Chad Dylan Cooper' after all."_

"Sonny..."

_"No, forget it. I'm going to go now. Go crawl under a rock or something, because I don't very much like you right now."_

"Oh, come on! I'm sorry, alright? There, I said it! Sonny!"

**Click. **

"Oh, she did not just hang up on me."

**Dial tone. **

"She so just hung up on me!"

**Beep. Beep. Beep. **

"STOP WRITING IN BOLD FONT! WE GET THE PICTURE!"

**...**

"Whatever."

**Click.**

* * *

"Look, Sonny, I'm real sorry about last night. I didn't mean to offend you...or your brother. But how was I supposed to know, right? I mean...wait. No. Sonny, you didn't just delete this message did -

* * *

"Sonny, pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. Sonny. If you're just sitting there and not picking up the phone I'm going to -

* * *

"Alright. You have _really _got to stop doing that, Munroe. Now, will you please pick up the phone so we can talk about this? Sonny?

_"What do you want?"_

"Thank God."

_"Oh, so now you're just shooting out the good Lord's name left and right! Mmm-hmm. You, Chad Dylan Cooper, are impossible!"_

"Wait. What?"

_"Oh, sorry. I just finished watching my Soap so I'm still a little bit dramatic. What's up?"_

"..."

_"Chad?"_

"...you're telling me you wouldn't pick up the phone to hear my apology - "

_"What apology?"_

"ABOUT YOUR GAY BROTHER! THAT APOLOGY!"

_"I don't have a gay brother. I don't even have a brother. If you're talking about Lydia..."_

"Who the heck is Lydia? And what do you mean you don't have a gay brother!? You said yesterday that you had a gay brother!"

_"Oh. That?"_

"No, Sonny. The other thing."

_"..."_

"YES, SONNY. THAT."

_"Oh. Right, well. I just wanted to catch the new episode of So You Think You Can Dance and I figured the easiest way to get you off the phone was to yell. Heh. Was that wrong?"_

"..."

_"Wow, this author chick sure does a lot of dot dot dots, don't you think?"_

"..."

_"Chad?"_

**Dial tone. **

_To be continued..._

* * *

**A/N: Or not. Did you like it? :) **


	2. RandomStrangerDude

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with SWAC.

**A/N: So, I'm one of those people who just sucks at replying. I don't mean to do it, honest, but I just can't find the time to sit down and do the whole click-ity click click thing. It takes too long. Heh. So here's a majorly big reply (and I'm sorry if it's hard to read!) to all of you nice peeps out there. ;)**

_A Reply From UT: **TrinityFlower of Memories**_, _I'm really glad you liked the bit about his slow driving! Actually, I'm just glad you liked the dang thing to begin with! **b33xb00xb0p**, it took me forever to spell your penname correctly and for that I'm just going to smile, nod, and let you know that I'm sincerely glad that you enjoyed the first phone call. ;) **sonnycentral**, I know you're like some huge celebrity and all, but it's nice to see such a person find the time to acknowledge the little people (hee). **Goode girl**, thanks for the review, Silly. You know you're amazing, right? **x0stephhhx**, I hope this one is just as 'wicked' as the first. ^_^ **LaPaige**, since you're also a celebrity and a huge fan of a certain forum (cough, cough), I'd like to just virtually hug you for a moment and say thanks! **sonnygirl100**, I'd like to take a moment to criticize your penname. Shouldn't it say 'Chadgirl100'? ;) Just sayin'. The boy is fiiiine. **ride2night**, I totally thought the gay part would add some flare, lol. Hopefully it did? **Dancing on Rainbows**, you're awesome, sweet, totally amazing, there's really nothing left for me to say other than stop leaving me kickass reviews. It makes me blush. :D **Overuse of Emoticons**, you already got your thank you. Haha. XD. Kidding. You know I love you...cough. Cough. Err. Kidding? **PaoHalliwell**, gad you, err, liked it? **b-kaz**, thank you for the review. I hope this one is up to your standards as well. **May Lily**, thank you so much for your amazing review. Really. It brought a HUGE smile to my face, seeing your comment. Thank you, thank you, thank you._

_Thank you girlies. It meant the world to see your comments. :D And for future reviewers whose names don't show up here, thank you. :)_

_Sonny. _Chad.

RandomStrangerDude.

* * *

"You know I'm still mad at you."

_"Yeah. I know."_

"Good. Because I am."

_"Yeah. I got that, Chad."_

"Because you really hurt my feelings, you know. Deep, deep down there's a broken boy crying his eyes out, wondering why -

_"Chad."_

"Alright. So I'm not mad at you anymore."

_"I know."_

"What do you mean you know? I haven't talked to you in three days."

_"Ah, what a nice little vacation that was."_

**Beep. **

"What was that?"

_"Call waiting. Hold on a sec."_

**Click.**

_"Hello?"_

"Hey. Is Sonny Munroe there?"

_"Speaking. May I ask who's calling, please?"_

"Uh. Yeah. This is - this is, uh, Chad."

_"...Chad?"_

"Uh huh. Cooper. Chad Cooper."

_"Uh huh. I see. Could you just hold for a second?"_

"La la la. A yellow submarine. A yellow submarine."

_"Chad!"_

"What? Sonny?"

_"There's some guy on the phone saying that he's YOU."_

"What? No. I'm me. You're talking to me. What, is he on crack or something?"

_"I don't know! You tell me! Are you REALLY Chad Dylan Cooper?"_

"Sonny!"

_"What!?"_

"You have caller ID! You know when it's me! Christ."

_"Right. Sorry. Just...hold on."_

**Click.**

_"Hello?"_

"Yeah, so, you gonna put me through to Munroe or what?"

_"Um. No."_

"What do you mean no?"

_"I, uh. I know you're not Chad Dylan Cooper."_

"Uh. Right. But I, uh, I said I was Chad Cooper. Not Dylan."

_"Oh, yeah. Crap. Hold on a second."_

**Click.**

_"Oh, my God! Now I'm really in a pickle!. He's probably a stalker or something! I mean, people don't just claim to be - "_

"Still me."

_"Damn. This author is really cruel to me."_

"Yeah, so, are you going to put me through to Munroe?"

_"Why do you want to talk to her?"_

"Duh. She's hot."

_"You're...an idiot."_

"Yeah."

_"Yeah. No. Goodbye."_

**Click.**

"I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him!"

_"...no. Chad, just...no. 3oh!3 is sacred. You totally just ruined them for me."_

"Heh. You weren't supposed to hear that."

_"I got rid of random stranger dude. No thanks to the moronic chick writing this line."_

"Ah. Congrats."

_"Yeah, so, want to go out with me?"_

"Oh, if only the author was being serious."

_"No? Hmm. Well, **I** was actually being serious. But, whatever. Bye, Chad."_

**Click.**

"...you...were being serious? FUCK! FUCK! MOTHERFUCKINGFLIPADUCK! FUCKKKK!"

**Dial Tone.**

To be continued...

* * *

A/N: Heh. Review? Anyone? Anyone? Hee.


	3. Shane Gray's On Oprah!

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with SWAC.

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoy the last one. ;) **

_Sonny. _Chad.

Tawni

* * *

"You like him!"

_"No. I do not 'like' Chad Dylan Cooper."_

"You liar! You so totally like him! Now I know why you're always hanging out with him!"

_"Okay, Tawni? Using Chad as a fake date and acting in his movie does not constitute us as hanging out."_

"I don't know what you just said, but yeah huh!"

_"No. Tawni, I do NOT like Chad Dylan Cooper!"_

"Sure you don't."

_"I don't."_

"Right."

_"I **don't**."_

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

_"Tawni! I do not like Chad Dylan Cooper!"_

"Mmm-hmm."

_"...okay, then."_

"You love him."

_"What!? No, I don't!"_

"I don't believe you."

**Beep. **

"Call waiting? I bet it's him. You love him, you love him, you love him!"

_"I do not love Chad Dylan Cooper! Now hold on a second." _

**Beep. **

_"Hello?"_

"Hey. It's me."

_"And me would be...?"_

"Chad? Chad Dylan Cooper? Mr. Sexy? Hot as a mothafu - "

_"Okay, I got it, _Chad_."_

"Good. So, you busy tonight?"

_"It's nine o'clock."_

"So?"

_"I'm in my pajamas."_

"Short shorts?"

_"Chad! What did I tell you about discussing my night clothes!?"_

"Hell if I know."

_"Just hold on a second."_

"Fine."

**Beep. **

"Sonny and Chad sitting in a - "

_"UGH! For the last time I do not like Chad Dylan Cooper!"_

"Sure, you don't, liar!"

"_Just let me get rid of him."_

"I KNEW YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM!"

**Beep. **

"Hit me baby one more time!"

_"Uh..."_

"...you, uh, weren't supposed to hear that..."

_"Right. Well, I've got to go. Tawni and I are talking." _

"Just hang up on her! I want to talk to you about something."

_"...but...fine. Hold on."_

**Beep. **

_"Just to shut you up, Tawni, I DO like Chad Dylan Cooper. But you better not tell a soul, okay? It'll be our little secret! Tell. NO ONE!"_

"..."

_"Tawni?"_

"Do you really like me?"

_"..."_

"Sonny?"

_"Oh. My. God."_

"Well, I kind of like you, too. I mean, you've got really pretty hair and..."

_"Oh. My. God."_

"Aww, come on, Sonny. Don't be embarrassed! I'd be embarrassed too if I were in your shoes."

_"No! Shane Gray just said on Oprah that he has a crush on **me. **AHHHH!"_

"Gee."

_"Heh. But, I, uh, think Chad Dylan Cooper is, uh, way cuter?"_

"Better."

_"If it makes you feel any better, I'm wearing some really short shorts."_

"...no, actually, I think that just made it worse."

_"Well, I think I've left Tawni waiting long enough. Goodnight, Chad."_

"Hey, Sonny?"

_"Yeah?"_

"Oprah asked me on for next week's show."

_"So what?"_

"Just make sure you're watching."

_"Chad...you're not going to - "_

**Dial Tone. **

**(And yes, Sonny. Yes, he is. ;D)**

* * *

A/N: There's the ending. Kind of lame and suckish, but it'll have to do. 


End file.
